Disclaimer: This post is positively crawling with alot of beep words, so if you are sensitive, kindly stop reading now, also this is someone’s opinion, if you disagree or agree, kindly use the comment box.
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Let’s talk about dicks,cocks, phallus,schlong, rod you get the drift right?
“Hello girls, please check the picture I just posted.” A message from Tolani on a bbm group called ‘savvy and chic.’
We all rushed to view the picture (I assume we all rushed because of the rate responses were flying in).It was a picture of a dick. A HUGE dick. Writing huge in cap locks can’t even quantify the magnitude of that dick.
“Oh WOW! Tolani, where you see this one?”
“OMG! I want this deep in me!”
“My vulva just twitched!”
“Tolani! Talk now, whose dick?”
The girls were going crazy. Tolani explained that she’s planning on getting down with the guy but the size of his dick scares her.
“Afraid for what? Best sex in your life!”
“What?! Delicious pain babes, totally do him.”
“Abeg, pass him to me if you’re scared.”
Came in various responses from the girls. Tolani gave in to their encouragements and went for it. The feedback wasn’t pleasant. She claimed it was the most painful sex ever.
There is this misconception about long dicks being the ultimate source of pleasure. I remember this scene from ‘Soul Plane’, where this footballer (or was it a basket baller?) had this long, long, long dick (like 15”); and one white lady was all ‘’yum! I gotta have it”. LOL! Lie! Wash! Its just a movie. Girls flee from such dicks.
We make mouth and brag about how much we want a guy with 12” dicks; “ah! He’ll take me to heaven and back, it’ll be like I’m riding on an eagle’s wings”. TAH! All na mouth.
I have this friend with an ordinary 9” dick. He hasn’t shagged this year. Shagged once last year. Very miserable nigga. Girls are scared of his weapon! They all beg and back out last minute when they see his weapon of womb destruction. He’s seriously thinking of going for a reduction. LOL! So tell me, where are the girls always screaming #TeamHugeCock?? All na mouth.
Misconception 2
Some girls think tall guys have the longest dick. Gimme a minute while I laugh. Truth is 65% of tall guys have from tiny to average whinnes. Don’t even argue.
There was this tall handsome guy I was getting naughty with awhile back. While making out, I brought out his dick…it was 4.5” when hard. No, I’m not lying. I gave him a blow-job without using my hands. I swallowed him completely and I didn’t even gag for once. When I wrapped my fingers around his dick, I couldn’t even see his dick cap. I am not joking. I mean, what’s the use of sex? My pinky finger would do a better job, thank you.
Other misconceptions
Some girls claim they can accurately guess a guy’s dick size by their shoe size/ foot/middle fingers etc. Sigh. I don’t even know how this works but I think it’s a trailer load of horse shit.
Speaking of horses, have you ever seen animal sex porns? Like pornstars getting down with horses and donkeys. I mean horses! Horses have like 20-25’’ dicks! I’m sure I can conveniently insert a long pestle into those girls. Abnormal beings.
Some also think skinny guys are endowed down there. Bitch please! They only appear endowed cos they are skinny. Let them get fat, you won’t even notice their dicks anymore.
Yes guys, being fat makes your dick look smaller. Fucking lose that weight.
The best sizes of dick in my own opinion (IN MY OPINION) are cocks between 6.5”-7.5”. Anything above this…………..well, some girls are wells.
To enjoy maximum pleasure with ANY position, a cock size shouldn’t be less than 6” and more than 7.5”. Like c’mon, wetin you won use 9” and above dicks do? You wan pound yam? Shift your womb upward?
See girls, 6”-7.5” cocks make you feel like a pro. You can ride it, bounce on it, grind it, give an amazing blow-job (deep-throating n shit), the guy can slam into you without you feeling unbearable pains. It’s just pleasure all the way.
You really can’t try all these with HUGE dick. I mean, deep-throating on such dicks na die. You go gag die and have tears running down your face. Not enjoyable at all.
Who remembers Hooke’s Law? The elasticity of a material is directly proportional to its blah blah blah provided ITS ELASTICITY LIMIT IS NOT EXCEEDED. Now, research has shown that the average depth of a woman’s vagina is 6″.
Therefore, according to Hooke’s Law, the vagina shouldn’t be able to stretch for more than 1.5″. Hence the maximum size of 7.5″ I prescribed.
Ladies!!! Hear me now – doing 8″ dicks and above is stretching your elasticity limit, thereby reducing the pleasure you’ll get (if you’re into BDSM and shii, ignore this advice since you’ll get off on the pain). It’s like you’re forcing your arm into a condom. The strain and stress won’t bring pleasure.
With this, I can’t overly emphasis how much of a #TeamBeautifullyPerfectCocks I am. You know I’m referring to dick lengths between 6.5″-7.5″. Guys with anything more? Take several seats behind the auditorium. No, not there…..behind the less than 6″ guys. *chuckles*
Some of these cocks got curvature; like a stretched “C”. Some girls love this, some don’t. Personally, I’m indifferent – as long as it falls within my specifications, I’ma RIDE or GRIND.:
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